Besides the gratuitous nudity and hard-core sex there are always a few tell tale signs that you are watching an adult movie.
5- The inflection is different- In a normal movie the following line of dialogue would be said like, “I am here to deliver a package.” With the emphasis being put on the word I, letting everyone know that they (the actor) have arrived.
Now in a porn movie the same line would be delivered as so, “I am here to deliver a package.” The emphasis would be put on package, letting everyone know that the actor’s package has arrived and he will probably be using it rather promptly.
4- The situations that occur are even less likely than the entire series concept for “My Two Dads”- How many times in life is a plumber called to the house to fix some pipes while there is a sleepover going on with ten half naked bi-curious girls in the house? It just doesn’t happen.
(Side Note: I have seen the adult movie version of “My Two Dads“, let’s just say it was nothing like the sitcom although the car couch did make an appearance… and Staci Keanan did star, she needs the work. )
3- Christopher Walken isn’t in it- He is in every over movie that Hollywood produces. In fact I don’t think they even write lines for him anymore, “Chris can you show up to the set for a cameo role? Yeah, no line, just be Walken for like ten minutes.” Although if he did show up in one he would probably have a line like, “Wow…you really came here and delivered this package.”
2- Most of the lines are being delivered by actresses worse than Marilyn Ghigliotti- If you have ever watched the movie “Clerks” Marilyn Ghigliotti played Dante’s girlfriend Veronica giving one of the worst acting performances in the history of mankind. However, it must be said that actors and actresses in adult films still perform better than Sofia Coppola in “The Godfather: Part III”.
1-The punishments don’t make sense- If a guy kills someone in a regular movie the repercussions are usually that he ends up in jail or he is tracked down and killed vigilante style. In an adult movie the punishment would be something that involved sex toys, rope, and anal violation. Actually I guess it would the equivalent if he went to jail.
What are other tell tale signs that you are watching an adult movie and not a regular movie?