I’m back. For real this time. I have so many feeling and emotions that I need to express…. Errrrr…. I mean I have a lot of stories and aggression to get out and I need a healthy place to do it. Consider this, as the kids say these days, my safe space. So please leave all your macroaggressions at the door. Just so you know here is my list of triggers:
-People unable to board an airplane and get their luggage into the overhead in a timely fashion
-Anyone with the last name Kardashian or Hilton (yes, including you T.Y.)
-Anything involving Steven Tyler
-Anyone associated with the TV show “Girls”
-Cherry flavored candy… Cherry is the taste of medicine, it always has been and always will be
So a lot has happened since you all have last seen me. My testicles have descended further, my hairline has retreated, my gut has expanded, and I am now engaged with a newborn child. (Go ahead and do the order of operations on that, the engagement came before the pregnancy, seriously.) Yes, I have taken the bold step of continuing my blood line with a son. While many people probably felt it would be better for humanity to let my gene pool leak into nothingness I decided to flip the script and procreate.
While all this is happening I’m not going to turn this into a warm and fuzzy dad blog. I have rewritten a lot of my old stories, written about a lot of things that have happened to me in the last few years and have scheduled them out between now and the end of the year. You should be hearing from me 4-5 times a week. Which as the British say is mental… or cocked up. Whatever.