On the front page of yahoo a few days ago was an article by Cosmopolitan Magazine on places for women to meet the right guy. They broke down a few locations as being “hot spots” to grab the man of your dreams. Of course their logic, like always, was totally flawed. I am going to review their locations and give you my opinion because if we have learned one thing over the course of the last four years is that I am always right.
Hot Spot: The Apple Store
Wow we are starting with an easy one. Unless they are into hot Asian girls that want to sell you a computer then there is no reason for them to go guy hunting there. Also when people are going to a store to make a major purchase or get something repaired is it really the best time for someone to swoop in and try to get a number?
Guy: I don’t know if I want the air book or mac book pro.
Girl: (randomly walks up) Whichever one you go with they have wireless so you can check your e-mail from my bed.
That doesn’t sound desperate at all.
Hot Spot: A Fortune 500 or tech company
Nothing says a smart move like getting a new job and fucking one of the guys you work with because well we all know that ends so well. What ever happened to the old rule that you never dip your pen in the company ink? Wait for a girl would that be you never drip your ink on the company pen or something like that? I am confusing myself, I better move on.
(we met at a political rally, he had the cutest uniform)
Hot Spot: A political rally or campaign
“I’m looking for a boy to date… Maybe I will go to this cool save the earth rally, I mean I like the environment and stuff.”
Two months later.
Guy: What are you doing tonight?
Girl: Watching Ugly Betty and doing some laundry, you?
Guy: I’m going to go set a well to do neighborhood on fire in protest.
Well done lady, well done.
Hot Spot: A sports bar on Sunday or Monday night, the weight room of a gym, or a steakhouse
Granted these places will be full of guys but honestly Cosmo are you even trying anymore with a recommendation like that? That would be like me telling guys they can meet women at a hair salon or stripper aerobics. Come on Cosmo step it up, I expect better thought out research than that… wait what am I saying?
Hot Spot: A rock-climbing center
I don’t think I have ever met anyone that rock climbs, ever. Not at a job, not out in public, none of my friends do it… In fact because I don’t know anyone that does it I am going to assume that it doesn’t exist. Cosmo must have created rock climbing for this article just to write about something different.
Hot Spot: A grad-school coffee shop
This is what Cosmo has to say:
“The dearth of chicks, combined with the little free time these studious dudes have to play the field, means they’re thrilled when you seek them out.”
If you were reading that and actually thought it was a good idea do you look in the mirror and officially come to grips with the fact that you have hit rock bottom and are totally desperate? How demeaning is that?
Why don’t they say:
Since these guys are really busy and there are like no women in their program they will date just about anything with a vagina.
Once again Cosmo you have completely amazed me.
What is the worst advice you have seen in a magazine?