I’m not a huge pro-basketball fan. While I love college basketball I just can’t get into the NBA. Growing up I was really into the NBA but I just don’t enjoy watching it as much anymore. It now ranks up there with punching myself in the nuts repeatedly or watching “Sex in the City”. Maybe it is the Europeans flopping all over the place, the stars that feel a massive amount of entitlement, or maybe it is the fact that the Eastern Conference plays some of the most boring basketball on the planet. While all of these reasons come into play I think my main reason is that the athlete I personally hate the most plays in the NBA, Kobe Bryant. He is the only person that I wish would get undercut while going to the basket. (While I wouldn’t want her paralyzed I think a destroyed knee or having him lose a testicle from running into a TV camera would be acceptable.)
The thing about Bryant is that he is a combination of all the kids you hated playing with/against while growing up:
The coach’s son: (For some reason most of them were red headed and always had a glove, sneakers, or helmet that were two sizes too big for them.) No matter what mistake the kid made in the eyes of his father he could do no wrong and would always get the benefit of the doubt even if it was to the detriment of the team.
While Kobe’s dad doesn’t coach the Lakers, the owner Jerry Buss pretty much caves into whatever Kobe wants and gives him special treatment much like a coach’s son. (You know like trading Shaq and setting the franchise back for four years.) When Kobe was accused of rape in Colorado and had to fly back and forth for the trial the team helped foot the bill for the private jet. Apparently the jet wasn’t the right size for Kobe. Here is a quote from Phil Jackson’s book (his coach) about the jet issue:
“We have agreed … to cover a percentage of (Kobe’s) private plane expenses to and from Colorado for court hearings. This will cost thousands of dollars. Kobe was unhappy with the type of plane that was selected; he wanted one with higher status. He should feel fortunate he’s not footing the whole bill himself.”
The pouty kid: The one that would flip out if things didn’t go his way, would often cry to his parents and do that ultra annoying hyperventilation/crying thing. They were routinely almost inconsolable after being removed from the game or getting yelled at by the coach.
Instead of crying to his parents Kobe cries to Stephen A. Smith. It is kind of fitting that the most intolerable athlete talks to the most intolerable reporter.
The arrogant star that shits all over the crappy kids: I remember in my first year of little league our star player, Ryan Lewis, complained in front of the entire team that his teammate that was up to bat wasn’t worth cheering for because he was going to strike out. When the kid returned to the bench after striking out the star player told the kid he sucked. I remember sitting on the bench just kind of shocked that he did that. (Note: Ryan went on to be a male cheerleader at a crappy small college; I guess there is justice in the world.)
Kobe is that guy. He continually berates teammates in public in a classless fashion. Between that and his overall attitude there is a clear divide between him and his teammates. It is more about Kobe being the man than Kobe having a winning team. If Kobe needed a bone marrow transplant I can’t see any of his teammates rushing out to get tested to see if he was a match.
Bryant is just a horrible person. He has no redeeming traits other than he can play basketball exceptionally well. He is an accused rapist, he cheats on his wife, he has a huge ego, he is a horrible teammate, and he is so unbelievably fake that is makes me physically ill.
I guess what I am saying is… I hope a truck hits him… Or something.
Which athlete do you hate the most?