(This was written previously on a day I almost died.)
You know those new soap dispensers that hotels and some people have? It hangs by the shower head and you can refill your body wash and shampoo? I have been seeing those pop up all over the place as of late, in fact my uncle and aunt have one. I guess they are really useful for people that find it a pain in the ass to squeeze a plastic bottle.
I used a friend’s shower the other day because my gas wasn’t turned on at my apartment yet and didn’t have hot water. As I soaked myself down I did the normal perusal of all the different shower products to figure out my plan of attack. I noticed that they had a big plastic contraption hanging from their shower head, so I figured that would be my source for body wash. On this plastic contraption there was a blue button and a nozzle, I pressed the blue button and put my hand under the nozzle expecting my body wash payoff.
Oh but the payoff wasn’t body wash, it was immeasurable pain and suffering. Soon this device let off a beeping noise but I didn’t understand what the beeping noise was for. Apparently it meant, “get the hell out of the way dumbass”. Instead I decided to move in for a closer look, BIG MISTAKE.
The nozzle began to spin and shoot cleaning solution hitting me right in the face, blinding me and giving me the “I just got my mouth rinsed out with soap for swearing taste”. I stumbled back like I got punched in the face and began trying to grab on to anything to break my fall. Luckily my ninja like coordination… err the back wall of the shower stopped me from slipping and cracking my head open.
(the device of death in action)
After the nozzle finished dispersing it’s death spray, which may or may not have been Soylent Green, I got back up on my feet. I went back to the device and removed the various shampoo and body wash on the rack in front of it. Apparently the device was a new scrubbing bubbles automated shower cleaner… I hate those little scrubbing bubbles, I hope you run into mildew that you can’t clean.
Have you ever been blinded by shower cleansing products?