I don’t often have relationships that end in a spectacular manner. Nobody gets pushed out of a moving car, nor have I ever had my stuff lit on fire on my front lawn, and nobody has driven their car through my front window. (There is still time for all three to happen, perhaps in one night.)
So when a relationship comes to a crashing halt with an audience, that it is a pretty noteworthy moment.
I was dating one girl that I met online that was a very quintessential Pacific Northwest girl. Lots of ink, she biked everywhere, and she was also a vegetarian or vegan. (I obviously didn’t care that much to take note of which one it was.) Of course she was a huge fan of weed and openly bragged that her best friend was a dealer, which is all fine and dandy. For those of you that know me you think that this type of girl is a tad out of the norm for me and you are right. But I had the brilliant idea that I needed to expand the range of girls I was dating. Overall things were going well, we had gone out on a few dates but weren’t exactly exclusive at this point but it was time to see what my friends thought. You know people that weren’t blinded by her ink and casual moral attitude.
The week I thought it was a good idea for her to meet my friends was the same week I had friends in town for a wedding. My friend had a pre wedding bridal party event, while she was at the event her husband and I decided we grab some beers and meet everyone for dinner with other out of town wedding guests.
At some point I decided that it would be cool to invite tattoo girl (TG for short) out with us and to dinner. While we were waiting for her to show up we ran into a guy that I play ice hockey with and invited him to dinner. It was making for what I thought would be an enjoyable evening, of course I was horribly wrong. What happened was a series of shitty events.
1) I mispronounced her name.
TG had a very uncommon name that was also pronounced differently. While waiting for her at the bar we met a girl with the same name that pronounced it the correct way. For example, let’s say the girl we met had the name Lisa. TG pronounced her name, which was spelt the same way, as Lieadalkjdljadf.
When she arrived we introduced her to the girl and said how funny it was that they had the same name. This sent TG into a fit about how their name was soooooo different because it was pronounced differently. I had to calm her down from storming out of the bar, the friends of mine that were there were not impressed so far.
To be fair you probably should correctly pronounce the name of someone you have had sex with.
Strike against me.
2) She got mad at dinner because…. Um… just because?
When we got to dinner drinks were flowing, I ordered appetizers for the table and caught shit from her because there weren’t enough vegetarian plates ordered. I think we ordered like seven things, three were veggie only… She then sat there and stewed. While most of us were meeting for the first time and having fun she sad at the table in a black cloud and not in the charming way Pig Pen does. More like in an evil brooding type of way.
Strike against her.
3) She insulted my friends
After dinner we went to grab more drinks. I ordered a beer and was promptly told that one of their lines were blown, so I did the only sensible thing and ordered a complete bottle of wine. The conversation continued and there was a reasonable level of merriment. A group of drunk girls stumbled by and there were some cat calls made by my party, nothing offensive just more giving them a hard time because they were stumbling pretty bad, they didn’t take offense. At this point TG turns to me and says, “your friends are trashy”.
Now she barely knew these people, nobody really did anything wrong, and I would consider everyone there pretty nice. I wasn’t going to let her go into bitch mode all night and then let her throw that out there. Without a beat I fired back, “that is pretty funny coming from a girl whose best friend is a drug dealer.”
She sat there for a second and a few tears escaped down her cheek. She then got up, threw down her napkin from her lap and stormed out. Nobody really missed a beat or was that shocked. My friends asked why I would date her and just kind of saying how awful she was.
The best part about making a semi dramatic exit is that it is a little memorable and it ends everything in one shot. However this completely fails when she had to walk back into the restaurant because she had to ask my hockey paying friend to come and unlock her bike.
Once again another horrible dating situation in Portland. It was back to the drawing board.
Have you ever had anyone storm out of a date?