(I wrote this after the Mike Vick arrest in 2007.)
The last thing I want to do is write a blog about Mike Vick, I think at this point it has been covered by every single person out there, but um… here is my Mike Vick blog. Yesterday on my way to lunch I heard his apology and statement, there was one thing that stuck out that I wanted to talk about. He said that he wanted kids to learn from his mistakes. Mistakes? Holy shit, he called what he did a mistake? Let me take a second here and examine Mike Vick’s mistakes versus my own mess ups.
Me: Bought a t-shirt in 6th grade that had a cool Japanese fighter pilot on it but it had pink sleeves. Everyone ignored the fighter pilot but made fun of the pink sleeves.
Vick: Funded a kennel on his own property for the purpose of training dogs to fight to the death.
Thoughts: They are very comparable, I mean I almost had to fight to the death over my poor fashion choice.
Me: As an underage employee I was part of a ring to smuggle beer out of work so we could have two beers each and pretend we were drunk.
Vick: Transported said dogs across state lines to participate in dog fights.
Thoughts: Well I mean we were both smuggling something, of course I won’t be smuggling cock in my ass for the next few years because of the “mistakes” I have made.
Me: I bought the Vanilla Ice CD from an independent record store, then proceeded to get lines shaved in my head.
Vick: Executed under performing dogs in a vile and reprehensible manner.
Thoughts: Um, they are kind of the same right?
I have to say I owe Mike Vick an apology. Mike I am sorry to say what you did weren’t mistakes, when you compare what you did to the mistakes I have made in my life they are like mirror images.
Do you guys have any mistakes you want to own up to? You know like running a bus of school children off the road or urinating on your neighbor’s mail everyday for a week…