(This was originally written 6 years ago. I now have lived a life full of central air.)
Up until yesterday I have lived my entire life without living in a house with air conditioning. Wait let me change that, I have lived my entire life without air conditioning except living in one apartment with an air conditioner but my housemate always took the window unit and put it into his bedroom at night depriving me of air conditioning goodness after wetting my appetite during the day by having it in the living room… that son of a bitch. (That may or may not be a run-on sentence.)
For some reason I had a bias against air conditioning.
1) I felt that throughout the entire existence of humanity that they dealt with sweltering heat without the help of a machine that creates cooler air. Why the hell do I need one? If I bought an air conditioner I would be a total pussy.
2) On top of that I felt that it was something only rich people had. In my mind air conditioning was a status symbol of the proletariat and in my personal class struggle I would be selling out by purchasing an air conditioning unit. It was a slippery slope that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to navigate or not. If I purchased an air conditioning unit the next thing I would be buying is fancy cigarette holders and Grey Poupon mustard. The last thing I ever want to be is elitist.
3) They are bad for the environment. If I do things that are bad for the environment I won’t be able to sleep with freaky hippy girls anymore… But then again I won’t have their armpit hair clogging my shower drain. This is actually a toss up. I probably shouldn’t count it.
Well I have to say that this bias was completely unfounded and that I am a total idiot for waiting this long to purchase an air conditioner.
After four days of humid and sticky weather that was well into the 90s I went to Home Depot and plucked down some money for a portable air conditioner. I can move this unit around the house making my existence bearable. Last night I got a full night of sleep for the first time in four days and I have to say I want to make love to that environment damaging, elitist, new fangled contraption that has turned me into a pussy.
I learned that putting my personal comfort in front of everything else is the American way and I’ll be damned if I do something un-American.
Now it is your turn, justify something that you have recently done that you were once opposed to doing.