At no point in my life have I had my shit together more. Also at no point in my life have I been more single. I’m not going to lie I’m getting old, I want to breed, and I need to figure this shit out. I’m not unhappy, I’m not depressed, I’m not lonely, and I am not sexually frustrated. (Thanks painkillers for temporarily taking my sex drive and curing me of that.)
I should be clear that I’m not desperate. I don’t feel like the next person I date “needs to be the one”. But I mean let’s be honest, I need to have some level of urgency. I’m battling time in regards to settling down and in a knock down drag out fight with genetics in regards to my hairline, color, and being able to hold my body together. (I use the term body very loosely.)
So I have decided to dive into the dating pool headfirst, hopefully it is not the shallow end where I end up paralyzed as a tragic example of how to dive correctly. Of course I have decided to log all of this for you as well as statistically break down my experiences. (More on that later.)
I am going to be using Tinder, OkCupid, and Match. As I have already been going on dates I need to catch up with the writing. So starting Monday, over the next two weeks I am going to repost some of my previous dating experiments. Additionally for the podcast I am going to interview my best female friend and get her in depth analysis of while I am still single.
This will be the most scientific thing since Jesus killed all the dinosaurs while proving the earth was flat and global warming was a hoax by the green industrial complex.