A couple of weeks back I shared parts of my journey back home and then gave up on writing about it because I found shiny new other blog topics cover. You know how I am… I see a flashy new subject and I want to jump all over it. Ignoring everything else I started.
There was one story that I didn’t get to that I wanted to talk about. It was one of the few times that I have been close to death.
I won’t go into the long overdrawn back-story on this. Let me just give you the brief breakdown. There was a party; a group of people that weren’t invited to the party, that group of people showed up at close to 4 am when the party was winding down. I was staying over at my friend’s house, the one that was throwing the party and was set up to sleep in their weight room on a cot.
At about 6 am I wake up out of a drunken slumber to see the lights of the weight room on and three people in there. To each side of the cot are two people and I look up to see one person handing a 45-pound weight to another person to put on a bench press right over my head. The person that the weight was being handed to almost dropped it on my head.
At that point my entire life flashed before me. Sadly it wasn’t that great, it was mostly all the times I urinated publically. To say I was bitterly disappointed would be an understatement. (It might tie into the fact that I had to piss. I hope when it is my time to go that I have a much more exciting flash.)
I hoped off the cot and asked them what they were doing. The one guy that was handing out the weights declared, “I need to work out.” I looked over at the bench and started adding up the weights as he kept handing his friends more to put on the bar.
“How much do you think is on there?” I was asked. Due to the fact I still had at least half a bottle of Captain Morgan’s in my system I was slow with the math.
After taking what seemed like twenty minutes to count I replied, “It is well over three hundred pounds.”
“I am fired up I feel like I can do anything,” the wannabe bodybuilder exclaimed. “You are the biggest guy in the room, spot me.”
I took a couple of steps over to the bench when logic, which had been pummeled down by the Captain and was locked away in my lower intestine, broke free and raced to my brain. Logic then slapped me in the back of the eyeballs, screamed and took control of my mouth.
“Dude I don’t know if this is such a good idea.”
For some reason all I could think about was the guys from Mythbusters explaining why this was such a dumb idea:
Adam: The myth today is that Bobby Finstock thinks that when he is drunk he is invincible. At this time he is thinking about spotting a guy who is high out of his mind while hammered off of his ass.
Jamie: Not to mention the amount of weight on the bench press has officially surpassed the normal amount a person can lift into an insane level reserved for NFL Lineman. Let us see what would happen if Bobby attempted to spot this totally fucked up guy.
(Shows Buster the Crash Test Dummy on the weight bench and me trying to hold the weight. I drop the bar and it decapitates Buster.)
Adam: Consider this myth busted.
Thankfully a few other people came into the room at this moment to talk him out of doing it. I don’t know how to get a large amount of blood out of shorts.
What is the dumbest thing you have seen someone do while drunk?