I woke up this morning after going to the open mic last night with nothing to write about. I didn’t go on stage (I am going up next week) and I really didn’t want to rip on what I saw there. (Possibly the worst comedy ever) So I figured it would be a non-blogging day until I went to CNN.com and saw this gem.
Apparently what went down was one kid traded some Zebra Cakes for a bag of chips, the girl she was trading with decided that she wanted both and wrote the following note.
“The note said ‘I have a gun and first I’m going to shoot you in the shoulder,'” said Cindy Landfair, mother of the girl who was threatened.
From one nine-year-old girl to another, the note continued.
“…then you’re going to shoot me back with a bazooka, but you’re gonna miss…”
Cindy Landfair said a note to her daughter from a classmate at Southwood Elementary School went too far.
“…and then I’m going to shoot you back and kill you…” the note continued.
Holy shit… This has to make Little Debbie so proud. What’s next a 14 year old offering to blow someone for an oatmeal cream pie?
Of course there was a ton of outrage over this and the girl writing the notes was kicked out of the after school program she was in. Now the school district and the police are figuring out what to do about the girl wrote the note.
At first I was outraged by what was going on but then I thought about it for a second and went back to look at some of the notes I sent when I was little and realized that it might not be that bad. Here is a sample:
To: Rich who was hogging the Mr. Sketch Scented Markers
Rich, if you don’t immediately hand over the orange marker so I can get my fix I am coming over to your house tonight and gut your mother with these safety scissors… you cock monkey.
To: Shelly who took the last copy of Bunnicula from the library
Hey twat, I want that Bunnicula in my cubby by the end of the day or I am going to steal it and jam it so far up your ass that you’d wish you were a vampire bunny instead of a limp noodle bleeding from the ass.
To: Jason who ate all the paste
Listen here fat ass, I know the seven school lunches you had today was just a snack for you but because your gluttonous shit smelling self ate all the paste I can’t affix these fuzzy balls to my project. Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger ’til it goes “click.”
In the end I guess everyone is blowing this out of proportion, this is just typical behavior from a nine year old.
What Little Debbie snack cake would you kill for?