(Originally written in November of 2007, people are still dying because of the flu so I figured this is relevant.)
As I sit here typing this I am looking at my yahoo front page which was the weather in sunny Southern California, it is currently 74 degrees. Now I turn my head and look at the window and it is snowing. What the hell was I thinking by moving to Buffalo to go to grad school?
My body now officially hates me because of the weather change and decided to show its utter disdain for me by giving me the flu. So this weekend has been spent by me piddling around my apartment and being miserable. I gave up going to the Sabres game on Friday, going to a birthday party last night, and even forgoing an invite to the Canadian ballet. All so I could convalesce and watch “You, Me, and Dupree” like four times on HBO, even though I hate the movie.
Yesterday I went to buy some cold and flu medicine at a local grocery store. They have a self checkout lane which I use regularly. As I scan in my medicine a little alarm goes off and my screen flashes a warning that I needed to show my ID to an attendant. Of course this made me miserable so I slogged to the front and got in line to see the attendant. This is where I learned that some people are just way too stupid to use the self check out line. Here are some of the issues people were in line for:
-the machine wasn’t accepting their coupon
reason: they were putting it in upside down
-the machine wasn’t accepting their credit card
reason: they were putting the card in the wrong way
As I stood there in line hearing the lady explain that all they needed to do was follow the directions on the screen, I saw a guy with a fantastic toupee using the ATM machine. It honestly had to be the first time he was using it. Each time he did a transaction he would pull his card out and start a new one. Then when he put it in the last time he didn’t need to do the transaction so he tried to pull the card out as the machine automatically pulled it in. Finally after he gave up on doing the last transaction he walked away leaving his card in the machine, then getting all freaked out when the machine just kept beeping because his card was in there. It might have been the most entertaining thing I have ever watched, because whenever he moved his head his toupee would kind of bounce.
At this point I made it to the front of the line so I had to stop watching the entertainment. I told the attendant that I had to show her my id.
Attendant: What are you purchasing?
Me: Cold and Flu medicine.
Attendant: You are not purchasing this to make meth are you?
It was hard to tell if she was joking or not but I think she was dead serious, when the hell did this become procedure? Thank god for timing, as I let out a big cough and didn’t cover my mouth, a little mixture of spittle and phlem landed on her left elbow.
Me: No Miss, I am not.
She let me go on merry way and back to the self checkout line. By then I saw with the guy with the toupee going to the bank counter next to the atm asking why the machine was beeping at him. It is the little things that cheer you up.
Question of the day: What is the worst misuse of technology you have ever witnessed?