(Originally written in 2007 when I finally got out of my own.)
Throughout my entire life I have always lived with either family, a roommate, or a TON of roommates. This is the first time I haven’t had anyone else living with me, so it gives me the freedom to eat Taco Bell on my couch in boxers while watching porn. (If that isn’t heaven I don’t know what is.)
All kidding aside… okay who am I kidding…. the taco bell thing wasn’t a joke…
The best thing about all this is that I get to have questions answered that I always wanted to know like:
How much would a 12 pack of toilet paper last me?
Is one 12 pack going to last me until the end of the year? How much toilet paper do I average in a month? Well now I can keep track. Maybe we should start a betting pool on this or something.
How long before I actually break something?
Roommates always seem to break other roommates shit, I know I have dropped my fair share of plates and glasses that weren’t mine. Also I have seen televisions, computers, arms, chairs, cervixes and numerous other items get thrashed. So now that I don’t have a roommate when will I actually break something?
(Note: I was going to list the plural uterus in the above list but what is the plural version of uterus? uterui?)
If nobody washes the hallway floor will anyone know?
That is more of a philosophical question I guess.
What food will grow mold first?
Which batch of take out food that I forget to eat will grow a cure for cancer first? That is always a fun game to play.
I really like the idea of doing the toilet paper one as a contest for charity or something. Anyways…
What other scientific experiments should I try?