(Written awhile ago…. But it ties into a future blog… So I am posting it.)
Yesterday I was asked by a professor to submit an essay for a book about the social web. It was the first time ever that someone felt like I had something important to say and that rest of the world needed to read it. So now that I am taking a step forwards in academic circles I can feel a massive change coming over me… I am becoming an academic, an intellectual elite if you will.
What does this change mean?
More sweater vests- Sure I might look like Diddy’s butler but what the hell. Once you gain any type of ground in the academic world you need to own a ton of sweater vests.
I need to buy a pipe- I know I don’t smoke, but for some reason I think I need to carry around a pipe and tap on it when someone is making a long winded explanation about whatever they are studying.
I need to use the word hegemony at least once every ten minutes- I have never heard the word used outside of school and I am banking on that I will never but it seems popular around here even though it is misused every other time. Oh also speaking of vocabulary…
Talk like the Damon Wayans when he played the guy in Jail on In Living Color– 50 cent vocabulary words give you street cred in grad school. While I have a good vocabulary I don’t drop 50 cent words left and right to show off how smart I am, in fact I kind of get annoyed when people do that. What is funny though is watching grad students try to impress their professor by trying to come off as a genius and misuse words left and right. That ranks up there with professors or managers not being able to figure out how to use audio visual equipment.
“No, wait, it should be on channel 3.”
“Is it plugged in.”
I need to sit in a cafe- Instead of writing crappy humor blogs maybe I should spend my time pondering. Pondering what I have no idea, but I need to ponder nonetheless.
What other changes do I need to make now that I am an elite intellectual? (wait where is that sarcasm font again?)