I decided to start a series giving you reasons why Graduate School is total bullshit… So far I have come up with a few different reasons and I wanted to highlight a couple of them today.
REASON 1: People are full of shit
I have a seminar where people come in and talk about what they are studying for a thesis or for their doctoral program. Basically if you can give a shred of a reason why you are studying something you are allowed to pursue it. On Thursday we had someone that was studying Walter Benjamin, she is taking his works and creating different digital art in as her response to some of his pieces.
For those of you who don’t know who Walter Benjamin is I can some up his entire life for you in one sentence. Born to a rich Jewish family (so he never had a real job because he was rich not because he was Jewish), spent his life studying at different universities, smoked a shit ton of hashish, wrote a lot about different things, and then killed himself when the Nazis took all his books. The woman presenting her thoughts on Benjamin basically touted him as a genius and that he was rooted in her soul… she went on to use really big words and fawned over him. In fact the more she talked about him the more I thought she was going to take my pen out of my hand and do nasty things with it, in fact if that happened it would have totally saved the lecture.
At one point she handed out some photo copies of his “essential” readings. One of the readings were his observations while on hashish, she pointed to one quote and basically wet herself over it. Here is the quote:
“Oven turns into cat. The word ‘ginger’ is uttered and suddenly in place of the desk there is a fruit stand, in which I immediately recognize the desk.”
She touted it as being poetic and totally genius. I have to disagree, because when I read that all I could think about was “Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise” where Ogre smoked a ton of weed and said:
“What if d-o-g was spelled c-a-t?”
So I guess Ogre is the modern day Walter Benjamin?
REASON NUMBER 2: I can write papers about…
Craigslist hookers… Yup, I just wrote a seven page paper about how prostitutes use modern technology from social networking sites to craiglist and the community that revolves around these sites. While some people would call it trashy or disgusting, I get to call it revolutionary, the best part is I get to cite my own website for a few of my quotes. I can’t wait for my spring paper where I write on why bukkake is going to usher in a new era of sex.
What do you think is total bullshit about school?