We age. That is a statement of fact. As we age, certain medical difficulties arise. I won’t go into the gory details because nobody wants to read about an in depth review of issues around my colon. Let’s just say there was a little scare and there were a lot of potential unpleasant causes for it. Anyway, I needed to go to a doctor that specializes in this area. I think the professional term is “ass doctor”. (That might not have been on his card.)
I was obviously pretty nervous going into the doctor being a relatively healthy thirty-four-year old male with a semi-full head of hair, balls of steel, and an ounce of swagger. Of course, the nervousness manifested itself in humor. I cracked a few jokes with the nurse and the doctor to put myself at ease. Also, I feel like it warms these people up to me as well. If they like me, they probably won’t let me die; I feel like that is a sound strategy.
You could probably also put a sub rule to this: Just like you never screw with someone who is going to be touching your food, never piss off someone who is going to be sticking things up your ass. (Every gay male in America and women with men who have a little more of kinky side just nodded their head in agreement.)
Anyway, there was an unexpected bi-product to this; the doctor got a little too comfortable being around me. While examining my balloon knot he said, “Did you give yourself two enemas before coming into today?”
At first, I was all serious and was like, “Uh… no.” Then I realized he was cracking a joke. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh, be offended, or just flat our respect his comedic timing and the effort that went in there. Then I started thinking what if it was a sarcastic comment and he was making a crack about my personal hygiene. (For the record, you could dine off my ass, so if I end up going to prison I have that going for me.)
After the exam he sat me down to explain what he saw, scheduled a colonoscopy, and some more surgery. (I ended up being fine.) He then launched into some questioning that included:
-Are you a homosexual?
-Is there anything that could have happened that would have been traumatic for your rectum? Do you put anything up there?
The answer to all three of these questions is no, but with one caveat; “Well, one time when I was drunk, a girlfriend stuck a finger up there. Does that count?”
Apparently it didn’t, but it got a laugh. I couldn’t let him get the last joke of the day especially when the last joke was told with a camera up my ass.
Have you ever had an uncomfortable situation in which someone tried to tell a joke? What was it?