A few nights back I went out to dinner with the fam, as we were leaving the restaurant we pulled up next to a car. For about the next minute and a half we were treated to watching this guy pick his nose. Actually saying he was picking his nose doesn’t do it justice, he was molesting his brain by finger banging it, yeah… I think that sums it up.
Of course my five year old nephew sees this and is transfixed, he screamed from the back seat, “That guy is picking his nose, ewwwww!” Then he settled in to stare at and laugh at the guy for the remainder of the time we were at the light. With about ten seconds left in the light the guy noticed a five year old glaring at him in the car next to him and quickly yanked his finger out of his nose. Now the nose picker had to do something to recover from this embarrassing moment, I figure he had three options.
1) Just laugh and shrug his shoulders- While he would be admitting to looking like a total douche it would have restored some dignity and made everyone else watching not as disgusted.
2) Pretend nothing happened- Denial is always a good way to go, even if it only is to delude yourself. After a night of heavy drinking, I had to vomit in the bathroom. With horrible breath and chunks on my shirt I thought I could rally and continue to hit on this girl that I had previously been talking to. I kept telling myself the lone stick of Big Red I had in my pocket was going to mask the smell… Note to self: Don’t talk dirty in a girl’s ear after vomiting, your mouth is awfully close to her nose.
3) Wipe a massive booger on the car window- This kind of gives the people watching the reason why you did it. When they see this two inch string of gunk from your nose they will all think to themselves that they would have done the same thing. Sometimes you just need to clear house…
So what option did he go with? Number 4…
4) Look into the mirror and examine his nose like there is potentially something wrong with it- He must have already flicked the evidence off his finger making option number three unavailable, instead he looked into his mirror and examined his nose like he was doing a cancer check. My guess is that is also his standard reaction for when he gets caught masturbating, thankfully that is something I won’t have to experience.
Finally the light changed and nose picker sped off but it left me with the question:
Do you feel like nobody can see you when you drive your car?